You will probably meet at least one new person every day. If not, start doing it from today.

There has been a lot of discussion about the power of first impressions, but that’s not what I’m not going to cover in this post. Instead, let’s talk about “hype.”
As someone who is very involved in social media, I meet a lot of new people who are using hype words such as “social media marketing,” ‘Facebook marketing,” and “brand marketing” at the start of every conversation. All too often, the purpose of these words is to impress the other person and to show their understanding of the specific topic. I can honestly say that 90% of the people have no idea what they are talking about!

The power of words

Words influence every aspect of our lives. The power of words to deliver our message is even more important at those times when we are introducing ourselves to someone new and pitching our companies. We want to make sure that we use the right words and that we ourselves understand what we are saying. After all, wouldn’t it be ridiculous to hear a singer say “I know how to build an aircraft”?

The wrong way for feedback

Over the years, I have developed a specific method for filtering these people within 2-5 minutes at the start of any conversation. My method for dealing with these types of people is a mixture of experience and questions.
Please note: many people use fashion words to feel better about themselves in the start of every talk. By nodding your head and smiling at these people, you are using the wrong approach!
While some people just smile at these moments, others react in the wrong manner by blaming or accusing the other person for using specific terms without knowing what they really mean.
Accusing people is the worst-case scenario! Don’t do that. Always remember, there is a big difference between people and their words. By asking the right questions, you can dig a bit deeper and find out whether such people actually do know what they are talking about. And remember too, there no connection between how well people express themselves and how smart and nice they are.

The simple approach

A few weeks ago, I met a very nice woman who told me that advertising on Facebook was not working.
What would most people do in this situation? Simply go and repeat to their friends that advertising on Facebook doesn’t worki?
That would be the wrong answer. Advertising on Facebook does work, but only for specific goals. So how can you keep yourself from jumping to the wrong conclusions? First of all, by asking the “why” question.
Once you ask the question, “Why is advertising on Facebook not working?”, you will usually see a different view. That’s a start, but it’s not enough. Asking “why” is easy, but still not the perfect way.
Ask yourself as well, why does this person assume that advertising on Facebook is not working? Maybe the person hates Facebook and prefers Twitter for unknown reasons? Yeah, that could be a better answer. Would you go now and tell your friends that advertising on Facebook is not working? I’m sure not!

See the difference?
More about asking the right questions in the next posts.

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Photo credit seandreilingers

You will probably find yourself making dialogues with your colleagues, friends or family members every day and sometimes a few times a day. Have you thought for a moment if you have healthy dialogues? What are healthy dialogues you might ask?

When we discuss with our team members about specific idea or event, we come with specific goals in our mind. The goals vary from getting feedback to choosing the right feature to develop. Goals always exist in our mind but we find ourselves shifting from this goal to some other goal which changes our discussion. One of the common goals is: WIN. In how many dialogues you have been in which the desire to win beats the other goals? You are right. The desire to win built in our very fiber before we are old enough to know what’s going on.

Unfortunately, as we grow older, most of us don’t realize that this unhealthy desire to win is continually driving us away from healthy dialogue. We start the dialogue with the desire to solve a problem but we soon switch purposes in heartbeat. Two of my three words for 2010 have strong connection to the art of dialogue. The best networkers are people who know how to listen and make the best from dialogues.

Think for a moment, do you have healthy dialogues?

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Photo credit Peiz

Look for the future

2008 was an amazing year for me. I achieved tremendous goals in my personal and professional lives.
This year I have new goals and a new theme. My theme for 2009 will be:
2009 Is My Year Of Revolution.
Over the last 3 weeks I have worked very hard on my plan for this year, trying to figure out what I want to achieve this year and what outcomes I would like to see in 2009.
Over the long process, I started to think about what I learned last year. A year is a long period of time and presents us with a lot of lessons that we have to remember and to learn from.
I decided to share some of the lessons that I learned in 2008. I must say that during the last few weeks I’ve read a lot of similar posts from within the blogsphere, and found that I have a lot in common with many other people (which is both good and bad).

1. Listen - this is most important lesson for me. I started the year by talking to a lot of people without actually hearing what any of them said. I found myself missing many important details from my conversations. Over the last few months, I’ve been trying to listen first and to speak second. This change has led me to many new ideas, better connections with my friends, and, most importantly, it has made me happier.
2. Think before you speak - consider every word you want to say because every statement reflects your future. Being smart does not always mean saying smart things; sometimes it’s the things you don’t say that make you smarter.
3. You cannot attain everything you want in one day - I had and still have many dreams. Over the year, I wanted to achieve most of my dreams and move on from one to the next as quickly as possible. I found that trying to do things quickly is the wrong formula for many things. I started in the last few months to focus on my goals and to take each step toward my goals only after deep thinking. During this planning, I found myself changing directions and choosing other methods-things that I would never have discovered if I would have acted too hastily.
4. Family is the most important - yes, if you’re working in the high tech industry like me, the hard work may cause you sometimes to forget your family. I’m trying hard to dedicate my weekends to my family and not to work in these two days. I have found that happiness at work is in many ways directly related to happiness at home.
5. Don’t trust everyone. I still often have to remind people who owe me money. “Business is business,” as they say, and I learned this lesson the hard way. I have learned over the last year that asking for money upfront is sign of seriousness.
6. Do what you love - over the last year, I left my job and changed professions. This step was not easy for me, but I feel much better now and very happy with my new career. I believe that leaving a job is not easy for people–specifically in these days– but doing what I love and delivering value to other people is the most important thing for me today.
7. It’s OK to dream sometimes, but it’s better to dream all the time - yes, think all the time of your daily, weekly, and monthly goals. Don’t hesitate to set high-level goals in order to work hard to achieve them. In my planning for the upcoming year, I have set very high goals for myself. How high? Some of them really look like dreams, but, then again, I’m a true dreamer.
8. First impressions are important but they’re not everything. People make mistakes from time to time and you should consider each mistake in the present situation. In the last year, I found myself disconnected from many people because of a single mistake that either they or I made. I found that giving second and sometimes third chances will make things look different.

photo courtesy by chunyang